pregancy FAQ

since a few of my mates are pregnant, i thought i will cheer them up a bit.

category 1: some funny pregnancy FAQ

Q. my sister tells me that since my husband has a big nose and big nosed people have dominant genes, will my baby have a big nose as well ?
A. i reckon your sister has a fat lip.

Q. my blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. is it possible that my baby is type AB-positive?
A. you've been screwing the mail man, haven't you ?

Q. since i became pregnant, my breasts and my feet have become larger. is there something wrong ?
A. yes, you haven't mentioned anything about your arse.

Q. since i got pregnant, i notice often strangers smile at me. why?
A. because you're fatter then they are.

Q. when is the best time to get an epidural?
A. right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q. what are nightmares?
A. frightening episodes in which a new mother dreams she's pregnant again

category 2: questions that are so funny, they don't have answers:

1. i know when you are pregnant they tell you not to go on carnival and amusement park rides...does anyone know if the waterpark slides are ok ?

2. if i am constipated and i have to force myself at the toilet, is there a chance my baby will drop out ?

3. if i fart, will my baby evaporate ?

4. how can i tell if my vomiting is because of the morning sickness or the flu ?

5. do you think i might be pregnant ? this lump on my tummy keeps growing !