thanks to my priest ..
my priest taught me how to have sex !!
nagi, you lying bastard !! could this be true ? how can you say such a thing ?
well, if you are from uganda, this would hardly be shocking. monica and i were watching discovery channel and the prime time show yesterday was titled fat brides. you ain't attractive in uganda if you ain't FAT ! in actual fact, after seeing that show, i would say FAT is just an understatement. the fatter you are, the saying goes in uganda, the "higher" your status. if you are chunky, it perceptibly means your family has taken care of you very well. but in uganda, many people live in abject poverty. forget about "eating" well, the deliberation sometimes in that country is all about "would we have anything to eat at all today".
so, four months before the wedding, the super slender bride is taken on a whirlwind course. she is made to drink 2 litres of "yogurt" drink EVERY fuckin hour when the sun is up to the day leading up to the wedding. the woman has added about 40 odd kilograms in four months - non-negotiable deal. regrettably, the weight gain regime does not come to a stop. the commentator of that documentary claims ".. over the next few months she would gain 50 to 100 lbs, may be even 200" and the groom beams it up by saying "i would very much love that". ahh.. what the bloody *&^%(* ??
one day before the wedding, the groom and the bride are taken to the church. no, not for offering affirmations or prayers. the ordained priest gives them a methodical discourse on "how to go about having sex for the first time". oh yeah, in uganda the priest knows all about it. him being a catholic and all that - he surely MUST know !!
on the day of the wedding, the local town poet walks in and give an ode to the couple. he "refers" to the bride as a cow - very affectionately ofcourse.
the whole bloody town agrees !!
i had nightmares after i went to sleep. i saw huge gigantic ARSES and nothing else. no, they were not hippopotamus – they were all ugandan brides.
nagi, you lying bastard !! could this be true ? how can you say such a thing ?
well, if you are from uganda, this would hardly be shocking. monica and i were watching discovery channel and the prime time show yesterday was titled fat brides. you ain't attractive in uganda if you ain't FAT ! in actual fact, after seeing that show, i would say FAT is just an understatement. the fatter you are, the saying goes in uganda, the "higher" your status. if you are chunky, it perceptibly means your family has taken care of you very well. but in uganda, many people live in abject poverty. forget about "eating" well, the deliberation sometimes in that country is all about "would we have anything to eat at all today".
so, four months before the wedding, the super slender bride is taken on a whirlwind course. she is made to drink 2 litres of "yogurt" drink EVERY fuckin hour when the sun is up to the day leading up to the wedding. the woman has added about 40 odd kilograms in four months - non-negotiable deal. regrettably, the weight gain regime does not come to a stop. the commentator of that documentary claims ".. over the next few months she would gain 50 to 100 lbs, may be even 200" and the groom beams it up by saying "i would very much love that". ahh.. what the bloody *&^%(* ??
one day before the wedding, the groom and the bride are taken to the church. no, not for offering affirmations or prayers. the ordained priest gives them a methodical discourse on "how to go about having sex for the first time". oh yeah, in uganda the priest knows all about it. him being a catholic and all that - he surely MUST know !!
on the day of the wedding, the local town poet walks in and give an ode to the couple. he "refers" to the bride as a cow - very affectionately ofcourse.
the whole bloody town agrees !!
i had nightmares after i went to sleep. i saw huge gigantic ARSES and nothing else. no, they were not hippopotamus – they were all ugandan brides.
posted by Dingleberry Delight | 2:05 PM
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