chilli crab

Thursday, May 31

A few more.

Hmm.. a few more for the moment. Looks like the birth certificate for Lila will come through sometime today. We have waited long enough. It is a pain in Indonesia when the registrars neither see the need to register the birth of a foreign national nor the need to seek immigration clearance for her.

He is happy because he just bravely handled a Kangaroo. He has this bad habit though; he likes to put his finger through the noses of animals - whether they are real or stuffed toys. How annoying it must be for those animals. I am glad he did not try that on the greyhounds.

Yeah, he knows there is a Koala at the background. He was not impressed at all. For one, when we were at Heleasville, Australia, it was not feeding time for those Koalas yet. And you know Koalas sleep all the time not caring much for any visitors or disturbances around. You can see them on trees by the highways sleeping soundly. Not even the car zooming past at 100kph+ can wake them up. He was not interested in anything cute, he wanted to see something exciting - all in his own terms. The Emus and Pelicans got his attention more than any other at the sanctuary.

Ooo .. Baby, Mi Smoochie smoochie smoothie. He knows how to please the ladies. Suave, smooth operator. He was only 2 years at that time; that girl 4 months younger. Neither Monica's nor the girl's mother's presence deterred him. He was in full flow apparently. Smoochie smoochie.

Emus are vicious. The Wiggles's song "the Emus run the pants off a Kangaroo" must be right ; it featured the Crocodile hunter the Late Steve Irwin. But, the one which Aga is sitting on is a bronze cast. Monica .. hmm, she just stood there for support.

Labels:

Monday, May 28

Agastya's photos

As I had some time to spare this afternoon, I trimmed down some photos of Agastya. Here they are. I will post some photos of Lila before I leave for Melbourne next weekend.

I cannot recall what he was doing here except that he took my camera / lens lid and refused to give it back to me. It did not take me much to pry it off him. I got him a spoon of raspberry jam (seriously) and he was happy to trade the lid for a spoon of that delicious stuff. Well, coughing followed that, I recall and he threw up in my car !


I have no idea what is ticking him there. He was uncontrolable for a while. Taken along Great Ocean road; I think near Lorne, Victoria to be precise.



Style man !! How do you watch Wiggles or Hi 5 ? My son shows you how. Leg on leg !! Do note, this smile he throws in for free. When there is an opportunity to promote himself, he does that exceptionally well.

Labels:

Sunday, May 27

Some know how to live life

Just reflecting on what I observed the past 1 week.

Some people just know how to live life. Their attitude just cannot be anything but PERFECT ! Well, I can say PUUURRFECT if they happen to be cute as well.

Take Lila for example: All she does is sleep, drink, shit and flicker her eyes open just for a few hours a day. She is not fussed about anything. She is not in want of anything, no complaints - not hot nor cold weather troubles her. Fed off the breasts or through a bottle; it matters none to her. Actually, may be I should say "something may not be to her liking, but she cares not much for them"

If she needs a feed, she "does the elvis" just once or twice. Conserve man !! Conserve energy. FACT #01. If you purr once or twice, Mummy will come running in no time anyway. No need to cry and work yourself out.

If she needs a nappy change, she makes no fuss. FACT #02. If your nappy is nasty, it is a problem for others, not you. It is for Daddy and Mummy to squirm over "stinky nappy". Lila knows this. Daddy will change nappy every 2 or 3 hours anyway. So, you are ok !

If she needs to sleep, she just sleeps. FACT #03. If you want to sleep, don't care for anyone admiring how cute you are or stay awake for them to do their "goochie goochie" on your cheeks. Just sleep !! In that process you may make the "speaker/admirer" feel dumped, but it is their feeling, not yours.

I can recall almost every detail of Agastya's first few weeks. Lila is the exact oppostite. She demands nothing; sleeps on time; BURPS herself practically. We deliberately make her cry for a few minutes a day - only for her to exercise her lungs and what ever muscles she needs to. I think she drinks more than just enough milk but not as much as Agastya I reckon.

More later.

A few photos .. Just a few

Apologies for the delay. There have been quite a few email and SMS asking for photos of Lila. Here they are.

This is how the cute little monster looks now. May 25 2007.











Some pictures of Lila. The one on the left taken on the day she was born. May 20 2007.











This is how she looked on Friday, May 25 2007

Labels:

Friday, May 25

Jealousy in a child

Agastya has been absolutely naughty the past week. He does not understand why but does notice I and Monica are spending way too much of our time devoted to Lila.

I do not know what else to call it; to me this seems like jealousy.

I feel sorry for him. Monica, who would spend every minute of her time with him, finds herself clutching on to Lila and feeding her on demand. Obviously, as they are both kids, we can only devote our attention to just one at a time.

Now comes the problem; the proportion of time allocation between him and Lila are heavily lopsided in favour of Lila. The little devil knows this and "demands attention" from us. How does he do it ? By throwing things here and there, by eating talcum powder and ciggies - YES PPL, you think he is cute doing so but it is a nightmare.

When we were in Melbourne, there wasn't a time when a stern NO from me did not have its effect. Agastya always listened to me; what I say is FINAL. He did take liberty with Monica to do as he liked as she does not have a bad bone to condition him. BUT now, having stayed away from him for 4 months or so, my NO has virtually no effect; except that, he turns to look at me just once to see if I am a threat.

He rubbishes all commands and control from Monica, his grand parents, maids - I have told Monica to take prompt action when he errs from his line. After all, it is NOT his fault. He is a baby, 2.5 years old and I and Monica are fully responsible for what and who he is.

But, I am not worried. He is too young to understand this. But I do not want him to get cool with it and repeat things as if no one minds. If he needs the odd smack, I told Monica she has to mentally prepare herself to do that.

But you know how cute he is ? He, a baby himself, calls LILA a baby !! He can say LILA perfectly. He comes and gives her a kiss every now and then. He wants to touch her; I am a bit afraid she is too soft at the moment. So, I hold his hands when he touches her. He showers her with flying kisses.

Wednesday, May 23

Hello, Lila!

This little girl was in a hurry to say hi to the world. Six days earlier than predicted, on 20th May 2007, 6.10 am, she was born at St. Elisabeth hospital, Semarang. Weigh: 2.81 kgs, length: 50 cms.

[Nagi] I arrived at Semarang from Melbourne on the 18th evening. Approximately 24 hours later, Monica's contractions started. So, what timing !! It is as if the baby knew I was here and that she had lingered only for me to arrive. The whole month prior to this, I had put in 15+hours every day at work and all through I was hoping Monica's contractions would not start until I arrived in Semarang.

The delivery was waaay way easier than Agastya's. I prepared myself for the pain and everything. Turned out, only a little bit of pain before the epidural but that's it.

The contraction started at about 1:30 am Sunday night, and it was 5-6 minutes apart, but these contractions weren't all that strong. I told Nagi and then my mom, and then soon they were ready to go to the hospital. Then my mom asked me, "Is it red already?" I know what she meant. One day before Agastya was delivered I also had some pinkish-red mucus, which commonly known as "show". I said no. No show. I thought, probably it's not the time to go the hospital yet. Then they all went back to sleep. I couldn't sleep because the pain kept coming every 5 minutes.

[Nagi] 20th May: Monica wakes me up at approx 2:30am and says "mi contraksi are about 6 minutes spaced out". Hmm, thinking about it, I cannot recall any of the classes we had gone to in the UK while she was carrying Agastya. 6 minutes apart ? I am trying to figure out what that meant. I didn't consider to ask "How long does each contraction last ?" That would be the proper question. I promise you, I did not commit to memory any of that; nothing to do with the fact I was sleeping and probably was very heavy-eyed even then.

I can bring to mind Monica missing from the bed from approx 1am. I thought she had gone to the toilet or gone into her mother's room to have the odd chat. To cut it short; I tell Monica, "Wow great" and proffer my quick prayers to Krishna. I followed her into her mother's room. I told her, hmm.. "if all goes well, you should be delivering approximately 3 or 4 in the afternoon" and gave her the nod. She nods in harmony. My goodness, you should have seen my in-laws. Her Father was brushing his teeth passionately and her mother was combing her hair. All through, their discussions included the word "rumah sakit (hospital)" randomly placed every other sentence. I presume they are priming themselves to get to the hospital. I begin to think, "what are these people doing ? Have they not delivered babies ever?
I am thinking, “We need to wait for contractions every 2 minutes man !!". I am not verbalising this to them anyway. I shut my mouth, ran to the shower and took a very cold shower at approx 2:45am ! I knew if any one was stay in the hospital with Monica, it was going to be me and just brushing my teeth alone was not going to disentangle the "indonesian sweat" problem.

I come out of the shower and Monica tells me to GO BACK to sleep ! Well, it suited me. It is 3am now.

At about 4, the pain in each contraction became stronger so I told my mom we better go to the hospital, show or no show. We did, and when we arrived there, the midwife examined me and I was already 5 cm dilated. The midwife asked me if I still wanted the epidural, and I said yes. My mom and the midwife was against it because they were sure I was going to deliver in about an hour, hence the epidural was kind of redundant. However from my experience, the pain became unbearable so I still opted for the epidural.

[Nagi] At 4am Monica wakes up and say LETS go man ! I forget to take everything except for the video camera, my mobile and wallet. YES PPL, in INDONESIA, you *are* allowed to use mobile phones in the hospital. Essentially, it is recommended more like. I asked many times for a clarification; but they make it sound as if in this country alone RF devices such as mobiles do not impede essential hospital gizmos !! If you do not believe, Dr. Suriyanto and Dr. Ariyanto will demonstrate how to use them mobiles in the hospital.

The pain immediately went away after the epidural injection, and a while later, suddenly I felt nauseous and they all rushed to see me. The midwife asked me to take a deep breath, I said I cannot, because I felt as if someone was strangling my neck. Then I had to cough. About 3-4 coughs later, the doctor looked down and everybody suddenly paid more attention down there. Seconds later, she was born. No pushing, no stitching, no bruising, no sweat. She practically delivered herself to the world. She must be very smart she could find her own way to see us. :D

[Nagi] Obviously this will sound funny, but I tell you it is not. Imagine: You deliver the baby with a cough. Contrary to my predictions, Monica was not going to deliver at 4pm that evening. She was going to deliver RIGHT then. They whisk her into the delivery room and 10 mins later one of the midwives came out with a grin and told us that Monica was 5 cms dilated - all in perfect Indonesian. I only needed to know the word "lima" to get the meaning out.

Barely 15 mins later, after an examination, the same midwife says Monica is dilated 8cms !! Again, in perfect Indonesian. I caught the word "delapan" out of it and more than good enough for me lah.

About 5 mins later, she had the epidural. Monica's mother and the midwife suggested strongly that she not take the epidural as she is most likely going to deliver within the next hour. Unlike the UK, here there is no "walking epidural" in the sense it cannot be administered in small incremements. Because of this possibility, in the UK, if labour lasted more than 3 hours, they had a precise idea of how much epidural had been administered already and the balance can be given even after 3 hours. But, in Indonesia, they give the full dosage all at once meaning, if the labour lasted more than 3 hours it is all left to the pregnant soul and God Himself.{Yes, God is a HE}

Approximately 20 mins later, Monica has severe cough. I asked her if she wanted water. She motioned me to fetch some. Oh, forgot to mention: After giving the epidural, the whole army of midwives and doctor went away to do some paper work or may be play cards. God knows. In the mean time, Monica has this cough.

Just when I got Monica the water, I realise there is no straw. In that hullabaloo, the army returns. The doctor stops by to check on Monica. When he lifted Monica's apron, the doctor says "Huh !".
The midwives next to him join him in chorus "HUH !!!"

Just imagine an Indonesian saying "WHAT THE F*&^K !!" and the facial expression to go with it. Of course, in Indonesia there are no bad words and Indonesians are awfully polite.

I am thinking, may be Monica is dilated enough and entering 2nd stage. Barely 10 seconds after the Doctor and the midwives went "WHAT THE BLOODY HUMBUG !!!", I see them pulling the baby OUT !! Now, it is obviously my turn.

Just imagine an Indian saying "WHAT THE F&^%K !!".

PPL, this is the case of Monica delivering with a COUGH !! Actually, do this. Try and cough NOW. Can you feel which muscle groups in your body work ? So, it is logical to say Monica's tummy squeezed the baby out when she coughed. The entire labour lasted only 4 HOURS !! The delivery itself, less than 1 hour. AMAZING !!! Contractions started approx 2:00am ! What can you say, bloody amazing. Went in to the hospital at 4:00am and delivered at 6:05am !!

I can confidently say that the medical services and skills here in Indonesia are similar to the ones in the UK or Australia. In the UK, Agastya was delivered by a single midwife and Monica hardly saw the doctor through the 9 and a ½ months while with Agastya. Here, Monica was assisted by no less than 6 midwives + a doctor + an anesthetics specialist.
It is not in my genes to praise someone or some country too much. So, I will finish this blog by issuing a criticism. The Indonesians should recognise how demanding it is for a new mother and baby.
I can scarcely accept as true when truck loads of people dropped by at the hospital and created a racket. If *I* am tired, you may perhaps envision how tired Monica must be. In the UK, no one is permitted into the hospital – even I, the father, have limits.
Besides, I had told *all* my friends in the UK to leave Monica, Agastya and I alone for at the least 2 weeks. PLEASE DO NOT VISIT. Here, the visits are non stop and unreservedly upsetting, well – for me by and large.
Monica may not say anything about it and Lila cannot even complain if she wanted to – except with a cry.
So, my advice to all you Indonesians: If you are having a baby yourself, request your friends not to bother you or the kid for 2 weeks. If they are your friends, they will appreciate. If you know of a new mother, give her and the baby a couple of weeks to fiddle with. Your visits can wait.

We have named her Lila {pronounced Lee-la}. Lila Teresa Mahalingam.

Welcome Lila, you complete our family.

Friday, May 4

Celebrity lookalike?

Come on, seriously? Who is this Aya Matsuura? I need to find her pictures :D

Labels: